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You Can Not HAZ!

jasmine
Before I start this post about the much commented Open Source Boob Project I'd like to tell you a quick story.

I was 18 and at my first off campus college party. I was having a great time dancing with a senior until he reached out and grabbed my breasts...hard. You see, I was wearing a low cut blouse and my boobs were well past a DD and I was after all a Freshman invited to a Senior party. I was included in this special group of popular people and if I had to be groped a little in order to be included well then why not right?

Wrong.

My fist balled up and punched him square in the face. I heard a crack and things got messy. I had broken his nose. I hightailed it outta there as fast as I could.

Growing up with very large breasts I am often asked the question,"Can I touch your breasts?" This has never ever been a liberating question. This is (especially at cons) a rather creepy question. What gives you the balls to think that I want your creepy little hands on my glorious globes?

Now, on to how I feel. This includes the idea of internet celebrity, body issues, and why Miss J is still a liberated woman.



Yesterday I expected my fiancee tablesaw to happily go to bed. Instead my blissfully feminist fiancee stayed up arguing over the Open Source boob project. Please before reading further read the first post for yourself. Back? Okay.

He had me read the post, and your usually hard Miss J started to cry. Why? I went right past blinding rage to utter sadness. The way many of these women were portrayed was well, pathetic. I went a little past feminism and straight to ideas on the cult of internet celebrity and much lauded body issues.*

*For the record I love my boobs. I am not ashamed of them, and I am very grateful for them. If you are a real life friend you've probably have helped me adjust a bra strap or something or other. So when I say this I say this from the point of a woman who *is* sexually liberated. I do understand the notion of liberation from the body politic kthanxbai.

This my friends IS NOT IT.

1. The Cult of Internet Celebrity.

I don't understand internet celebrity. As in I don't understand why I should think you're famous because you post on LJ. For the record, I also don't understand why Paris Hilton is famous.

To me internet celebrities are just folks who I may or may not happen to know. This fact means I don't take stock in people who say they're big on the internet. (I do take stock in people I know or like.) However I do understand that attached to these mythical beings are people who really want to be like them. Who need to be close to them. Who do what they say because they are liked. This is exactly like the idea of actual celebrity, but on a smaller scale.

When reading theferrett's post I had been told he was an LJ God. Someone who is heavily read and friended. An LJ God at a con is a well known person. If a person who has lots of friends who might let you in on activities with the popular crowd asks you if they can touch your boobs( and if you don't then you'll be cast later on as obviously an outsider, someone who doesn't "GET IT") someone who is really unsure of themselves will certainly say yes. How many women wore a button of either type because they wanted to be included in on the joke? To be associated with the "in crowd"?

The following excerpt disgusted me:

By the end of the evening, women were coming up to us. "My breasts," they asked shyly, having heard about the project. "Are they... are they good enough to be touched?" And lo, we showed them how beautiful their bodies were without turning it into something tawdry.

We talked about this. It was an Open-Source Project, making breasts available to select folks. (Like any good project, you need access control, because there are loutish men and women who just Don't Get It.) And we wanted a signal to let people know that they were okay with being asked politely, so we turned it into a project...


The idea of a celebrity in your particular fandom coming up to you and asking to touch your breasts, hair, butt, what have you will generally be appealing to you. Why? So you can be apart of their world for a brief moment. So you can essentially hang with the cool kids.

This does not mean they have sexually liberated women. Not by a long shot. This means that they've convinced women that this was okay. God forbid you think its not however, because then no one will want to play with you.

Childish.

I am sure there were plenty of women (many on my friendslist) who would wear a button proudly simply because the idea that they should not be afraid of sexuality appeals to them. I agree. We should not be afraid of our sexuality. However, I should not have to wear a button that says "NO YOU CANT".

For the record(once again) I am already forced to wear many ruminations of this button at cons. Not because of the open source project, but because people at FanCons and Faire ask...A LOT. There is this idea that at either of these places that a woman's body is second to the male gaze and satisfaction. That brings me to....

2. Body Issues and Con Culture

If you've been to a FanCon (Barring well the NPL con and the like) and you're a woman then get ready, you are about to become objectified. It happens at least once every time I go to a con or even a faire.

The idea that a woman's body is on display in her costume and is therefore there for your enjoyment is a common thought at Con. It is Sexist. God forbid you are a lady of ample assets. So... many ....fanboys.

When thinking about the Open source Project I can actually understand how it got started with friends and became a con sort of in-joke. In high school I had a sort of in joke with my girlfriends. It wasn't being objectified when every once in a while Cammy would squeeze my boob and make a sound effect. It was just a funny thing. A funny juvenile thing. It was innocent.

I have heard and read that some of the women women who participated felt this way. Well ladies, bully on you, because you seem to be the only ones doing this "project" some justice. The men involved in the project were not so like minded.

If the open source boob project continued to be this way it would have been fine. However, it spilled into the con at large, rolling faster than a giant snowball in the Alps.

To me this project has nothing to do with being a sexually liberated woman:

And then the real magic happened. Because a beautiful girl in an incredibly skimpy blue Princess outfit strode down the hallway, obviously putting her assets on display (the thin strips of her clothing had to be taped to her body to stay on), and we stopped her.

"Excuse me," the first, very brave girl asked. "You're very beautiful. I'd like to touch your breasts. Would you mind if I did?"

We held our breath. We didn't want to offend. This could go wrong, collapsing and turning us into cruel lechers who'd make her feel uncomfortable and shamed of who she was....

She thought for a heartbeat, sizing us up. But there must have been something honest and trustworthy in our eyes that promised that we wouldn't get out of hand... Because after a moment, she smiled and said, "Sure!"


This passage is once again frankly disturbing. This sort of thing happens frequently at cons. Don't believe me? Ask isako or purpletophat. Women who wear skimpy outfits at cons or even slightly flesh bearing outfits at Cons hear this all the time. Or worse, people just go ahead and do it. I've slapped many a fanboy hand.

The idea that you can touch whatever on display is not body positive. It hearkens back to the common plea: "Well officer she deserved it! She was wearing a mini-skirt! She asked for it." That idea is frankly repugnant. To be fair, I think however that this is more the writer's salivation than the project's.

To sum this section up:

While I understand that the project was started by women and seemed fairly body positive, it did not stay that way. From what was written, I think that it too much of an excuse for the male participants to follow the con fanboy mentality of "Ooooo Boobies!I can HAZ!" Doing this thereby invalidates the innocence of said project.

Moving on.

3. The Idea of the Male Gaze and Privilege

"This should be a better world," a friend of mine said. "A more honest one, where sex isn't shameful or degrading. I wish this was the kind of world where say, 'Wow, I'd like to touch your breasts,' and people would understand that it's not a way of reducing you to a set of nipples and ignoring the rest of you, but rather a way of saying that I may not yet know your mind, but your body is beautiful


I think the italicized part in fact invalidated every other part of this passage. How? Well, by saying that you in fact don't know me but would like to fondle me means that it is more important for you to fondle me than to actually know me. My response to this would have been the following:

"Oh so what you're saying is that my mind is less important that getting to know my tits. You'd like to know my breasts now and my brain later? Well, fuck right off you sleazy bastard!" This may or may not have followed with a nice gesture of my fist getting to know their nose.

I welcome comments on my body. Polite and not so polite comments from friends. As a person who gets oft asked about their breasts I really can't see the liberating difference between a person at a convention asking to feel me up or that one guy in the grocery store asking to feel me up. Just because you asked does not mean it is okay.

Of course the women always retained the right to say no, but really that isn't the point. The point was that these women some of whom did not know the people who asked them, are portrayed as faceless and nameless. Not once mentioned in this article is:

"Hi! My name is Bob and this is my friend Cherise. What's your name?"

"Samantha"

"Nice to meet you Samantha. I was wondering if we could touch your breasts? They're lovely."

Now that doesn't sound half as bad( though to me its still bad) as what was described. The original story is told by a straight, male who in fact does participate throughout the story in blazingly male privilege.

These women aren't being really seen as a whole. They are being seen as various breasts. They are being reduced to body parts. I for one am more than just a fantastic pair of 32 Hs. I am a whole person. If you are going to celebrate my body, well then dammit celebrate all of it, not just the fetishized part of it. The fact the women were also doing the same thing does not make it better. For me, it makes it worse.

I can understand that the author may not want to put his friends on blast, but never did he say he introduced himself first. The idea of some random guy asking to touch my breasts hearkens back to the many noses that have been led off the faces of patrons in bars and colleges parties.


So in my final conclusion I present this:

I am not prude in any way shape or form. I am by all accounts an open and honest person.

I do not need to be felt up in order to feel liberated. I do not need to be touched in order to be apart of something. I do not need you to separate my personality from my boobs, even if you really really love them. You want to touch my boobs? Be a good friend of mine. Know me. Know my NAME. Know my brain first and my body later.


If you ever come up to me at a Con, house party or other social event and and ask to touch my boobs and I have never met you I can only give you one suggestion...

RUN. RUN FAR AND FAST.

Comments

( 133 comments — Leave a comment )
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ruggerdavey
Apr. 22nd, 2008 09:22 pm (UTC)
Dude, that is messed up. And what pisses me off even more is that he couched it in terms of being all feminist and sexually liberated and all that. It's totally objectifying. I mean, it privileges the boobs over the rest of you - "I'd like to touch your breasts but not ask your name or compliment you on your costume or get to know you."

And the "obviously putting her assets on display" thing is so out of line - I totally get you on the "she was just asking for it" vibe.

And you notice how he doesn't really give any examples about what happened when people said no. In fact, it almost had the tone that there was something wrong/aberrant with you if you did say no.

And my heart totally clenched for the girls going up to them asking if their breasts were nice enough to touch. No mention of the girls who felt left out/ugly/bad because no one bothered to ask them and then were too upset to ask. I mean, I'd be appalled and pissed too if someone asked me, yet there's still that voice in my mind that says "nobody would want to." So it plays right into that idea of judging women based on their looks...which isn't liberating but in fact the opposite. And it just encourages women to judge their beauty on attributes like that. These girls were asking if they were good enough and basing that around their breasts! I mean, does he not get how he's just playing into the whole female problem with self-worth based around the body?

I just...man. Normally I always think I'd love to go to a con, but this really turns me off the idea.

Edited at 2008-04-22 09:24 pm (UTC)
ojouchan
Apr. 23rd, 2008 06:52 pm (UTC)
Those are some excellent points.

Who are the women who said "no"? Why don't we hear about them? What about the women who wore affirmative buttons and got no attention.

That voice in your head that tells you you're not good enough is a strong one indeed. No matter how much you value yourself.

But do go to a Con. Like anyone of the Firefly cons. Or even ComicCon. I think you'd have a blast.
(no subject) - ruggerdavey - Apr. 23rd, 2008 07:50 pm (UTC) - Expand
radiantsun
Apr. 22nd, 2008 09:45 pm (UTC)
I haven't read Ferrett's post. I like yours and this one better.

I feel like saying "Hey, can I stick a thick 6" dildo up your ass?" And while I think Ferrett is cool and all, or did, the idea of him (and most people on the internets) touching my boobs makes me throw up in my mouth a little.

You are definitly not a prude-- you're fun exuberant and energetic. At least that's how I remember you.
ojouchan
Apr. 23rd, 2008 07:01 pm (UTC)
*hugs*

I think maybe we should carry a plug in our handbags the next time we're at a con. The exchange should be something like this:

"May I touch your boobs?"
"Sure! Afterwards, I can touch your ass! Would you prefer the six inch or the intruder model?"
(no subject) - radiantsun - Apr. 23rd, 2008 07:08 pm (UTC) - Expand
radiantsun
Apr. 22nd, 2008 09:47 pm (UTC)
not to imply I like that one better than yours, just I like your and that one better than Ferrett's even though I haven't read Ferrett's.

I could see a former version of myself getting sucked into the wanting to be accepted part.

It isn't all that different from using power, such as a teacher or significantly older person or school bully might, to get sex from a person in a weaker position.
ruggerdavey
Apr. 22nd, 2008 10:25 pm (UTC)
It isn't all that different from using power, such as a teacher or significantly older person or school bully might, to get sex from a person in a weaker position.

Word.
(no subject) - ojouchan - Apr. 23rd, 2008 07:07 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - radiantsun - Apr. 23rd, 2008 07:10 pm (UTC) - Expand
eiviiaru
Apr. 22nd, 2008 11:18 pm (UTC)
I'm not really sure I have anything else to add, but... yeah, that post by theferrett? Creepy as all fuck. Why did he ever think this was a good or appropriate idea? The edited-in cop-outs about how OF COURSE IT WENT WRONG ONCE WE OPENED THE GATES also repulsed me. Dude, I don't care who you do this with -- this is not okay.

I also find it very telling that there was no male equivalent -- that males or females could ask, but only females could be asked. What would these guys have done if asked by female strangers (or, gasp, male strangers) "you have a beautiful ass/chest/bulge; may I touch it?" Would they have felt the same way -- that they had to accept to be sex-positive?
idealforcolors
Apr. 23rd, 2008 12:22 am (UTC)
In the comments, people actually did say that there was some male and female ass-groping going on. But also that that was nowhere near as popular an equivalent.
(no subject) - ojouchan - Apr. 23rd, 2008 07:09 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - pecunium - May. 1st, 2008 07:12 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - eiviiaru - May. 1st, 2008 02:19 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - pecunium - May. 1st, 2008 06:24 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - eiviiaru - May. 2nd, 2008 12:09 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - pecunium - May. 2nd, 2008 02:38 am (UTC) - Expand
pallasathene82
Apr. 23rd, 2008 12:23 am (UTC)
Far more awesome would have been the open-source hug project. That I could get behind.

Siiiiigh.

I agree in theory that it could work with a bunch of people who you knew well. Like a number of '04s and I were slapping each others' asses one night just to be childish. Or I would let you grope my boobs because you're you.

Definitely not at a con, eww.
elainetyger
Apr. 23rd, 2008 02:47 am (UTC)
Honestly, I would squick out at an open source hug project. As another ample woman, I can testify that "Can I have a hug?" is often a pussyboy's way of saying "Can I have your boobs squished up against me?"

Ojou, you are showing a lot more compassion than I feel toward women asking if they're good enough. I thought I wasn't a prude, but the whole idea of this let's-all-touch-eat-other-gratuitously just horrifies me.
(no subject) - ojouchan - Apr. 23rd, 2008 07:12 pm (UTC) - Expand
idealforcolors
Apr. 23rd, 2008 12:29 am (UTC)
Yeah, pretty much. Especially the bit about "I may not yet know your mind, but your body is beautiful." Um, I'd rather talk about books than let you touch my boobs, thanks.

To look at it both generously and cynically, I can't imagine either being THAT open with my body, and feeling THAT safe and friendly, or being THAT desperate for attention and approval (like the women asking "are mine good enough to touch?" OMG! OMG! SO MANY THINGS I want to say to those women). But I never even liked odd quad "fleshpiles" - even among my friends, I prefer being able to control which people touch which parts of my body.
idealforcolors
Apr. 23rd, 2008 12:32 am (UTC)
Also, this is a little harsh but pretty funny: http://misia.livejournal.com/1055120.html

kar3ning
Apr. 23rd, 2008 12:34 am (UTC)
one appropriate reply...
Can I touch your breasts?

No. Can I touch your man-tits?
isako
Apr. 23rd, 2008 05:27 am (UTC)
Re: one appropriate reply...
Alternately phrased: That depends. Can I immediately before or after shiv you in the testicles?
Re: one appropriate reply... - bernmarx - Apr. 23rd, 2008 05:34 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: one appropriate reply... - ojouchan - Apr. 23rd, 2008 06:47 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: one appropriate reply... - bernmarx - Apr. 23rd, 2008 06:58 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: one appropriate reply... - ojouchan - Apr. 23rd, 2008 07:15 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: one appropriate reply... - chocolatemamba - Apr. 23rd, 2008 09:22 pm (UTC) - Expand
cramerica
Apr. 23rd, 2008 01:12 am (UTC)
You go-chan
It all reminds me of a song I heard a while ago, describing various unwelcome suitors, including an encounter with a 'yoga smoothie' type:

Hey you with the muscles and the long hair
Telling me that women are superior to men.
'Most guys just don't appreciate this'
You just try convincing me you're better than them.

So he talks for hours about his sensitive soul
And his favorite subject is... sex
thedan
Apr. 23rd, 2008 04:19 am (UTC)
Re: You go-chan
I heart Lush!
Re: You go-chan - ojouchan - Apr. 23rd, 2008 07:16 pm (UTC) - Expand
greenlily
Apr. 23rd, 2008 02:42 am (UTC)
Aaaand...this is one of many reason I don't go to cons. Fuckheads.
chocolatemamba
Apr. 23rd, 2008 09:19 pm (UTC)
lol
kimberkit
Apr. 23rd, 2008 03:42 am (UTC)
Siiiiigh. I really can see how it would've been such a fun little thing, even innocent, with friends or even acquaintances. And there was asking involved. But in a more public environment, when the con thing was more widespread, I can also see the potential creepy-factor in big letters :/
ojouchan
Apr. 23rd, 2008 07:18 pm (UTC)
You know, I can understand it too. I can understand this happening in the Odd Quad. I can understand it happening between friends. However, this idea just shouldn't have spread to the con at large.

But among a group of people who trusted each other? Not a problem.
poor_choices
Apr. 23rd, 2008 04:17 am (UTC)
I ended up here through a complicated web of being really offended by the initial post at theferrett and thinking tablesaw's comments kicked ass, and then realizing I recognized you from the Williams LJ crowd. So I am mostly stopping by to totally agree with your post, thank you for putting into words a lot of what made me feel so skeeved out in the initial post, and congratulate you on your articulate and kickass fiance.
ojouchan
Apr. 23rd, 2008 07:21 pm (UTC)
Williams you say? If you're still there then I must have met you. I'm an '07. Hmm....

Also, thank you!

I happen to have gotten my fiancee from an alum. And by that I mean he introduced me to him. The alum network may suck at jobs, but they're good at matchmaking!
(no subject) - poor_choices - Apr. 23rd, 2008 07:29 pm (UTC) - Expand
isako
Apr. 23rd, 2008 05:37 am (UTC)
If you ever come up to me at a Con, house party or other social event and and ask to touch my boobs and I have never met you I can only give you one suggestion...

RUN. RUN FAR AND FAST.


Oh, now, sweetie, it isn't nice to lie to them by omission like that. You know perfectly well that your statement should continue as follows: "if, of course, you can get away from my protective and furious friends who have just surrounded you."
ojouchan
Apr. 23rd, 2008 07:22 pm (UTC)
Hmm this is true.

I may have to make an amendment.
harukami
Apr. 23rd, 2008 06:02 am (UTC)
Thank you for this -- I saw it linked off journalfen and really appreciated this.

I wasn't at the con in question, and I've never actually got this question (thank god), but I recently had an...experience while cosplaying. Because, yeah, I cosplay -- and in the past I've always cosplayed fairly covering costumes. But for this particular con, I wanted to cosplay a specific character; I'd recently picked her up in a multi-fandom RPG, I knew her (and her girlfriend)'s costumes would be recognizable yet not cosplayed elsewhere, and the character herself is a very strong character who, despite her 'assets' being on display, is portrayed in the canon as an example of strength, morality, unwillingness to bend what she believes in, etc -- not sexuality (in fact, the only relationship she's seen in is one that's pulled together entirely on a basis of respect for each other's beliefs regarding violence).

However, the outfit's skimpy. I was aware when my girlfriend and I put together matching costumes (both characters from the series) that wearing a skimpy costume was... well, 'asking' for trouble.

And you know, I got some positive attention. We got lots of kudos for cosplaying from that game!

I also got a lot of "Wow, nice tits, bend over a little more" and "Is that your real ass or is it padding? Because it's so perfectly ROUND and SOFT-LOOKING" (and when i didn't answer the second, continued demands I answer his question).

And... Ugh. Yeah, I wore a skimpy costume.

I was still wearing a costume. Comment on that, guys; not my body.

And... the thing is, I wasn't ashamed to be in the costume, no. I'd picked it. I wasn't wearing any less than I'd wear to the beach, and was in fact wearing a great deal more, including leggings and skin-tight flesh-colored shorts under it, and I know what I got wasn't the worst of it.

But I've still been reluctant to comment on how uncomfortable some of the comments made me, because I'm pretty sure a lot of people will say "Well, what did you expect, if you picked a costume like that?"

I don't see why what I wear should make it acceptable to say or behave the way some of those people did, though.


--- and I recognize that was a bit of a ramble from someone you don't know. Uh. HI!
isako
Apr. 23rd, 2008 07:02 am (UTC)
Don't worry (says the linker from JF). The Jou is both friendly and awesome.

But I've still been reluctant to comment on how uncomfortable some of the comments made me, because I'm pretty sure a lot of people will say "Well, what did you expect, if you picked a costume like that?"

Interestingly, I had that exact same experience- on FWank. (A 'mouse, inevitably.) Another commenter and I were trading "sweet fancy Moses, what is wrong with fanboys" stories, and were yapped at because we were apparently possessing of an "I'm so hot, look at me so I can mock you and your not-hotness" attitude. (Paraphrased, as it was a while ago.) But that's something I've run into in a number of other places, and I must say that while it isn't surprising, it makes no frugucking SENSE.

I can only conclude that there is some sort of sartorial social contract that we entered into all unknowing by virtue of having aforementioned tits, and we are the most utter violating bitches for not fulfilling every single sub-clause therein regarding their right to look, tough, and discuss our meaty bits. (Instead of, you know, wearing costumes 'cause we liked the design or the character or something. That would just be ABSURD.)
(no subject) - harukami - Apr. 24th, 2008 01:28 am (UTC) - Expand
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Icon not at you, clearly. - isako - Apr. 25th, 2008 02:00 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Icon not at you, clearly. - harukami - Apr. 25th, 2008 03:03 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Icon not at you, clearly. - isako - Apr. 26th, 2008 07:01 pm (UTC) - Expand
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brooksmoses
Apr. 23rd, 2008 06:39 am (UTC)
Thank you for posting this. I was feeling frustrated, rather more than was good for me, by all of the vitriol flying through LJ that seemed to be about what the project was, by people who weren't there and were seeing it through the description of this one fellow's very warped perspective, and through what they assumed must have been going on that he didn't say. I really appreciate that you didn't do that, and that you were clear about what was wrong with what he said and what was wrong with the "project". And also with "this is what I have experienced," rather than "this is what those women must have experienced."

Thank you. I appreciate seeing a post that makes the points you did, without pushing my buttons in ways that would make it painful for me to read.
ojouchan
Apr. 23rd, 2008 08:01 pm (UTC)
Thank you very much.

Also, as I've said a bunch of times before, I can see how this project would have been fine. Even fun amongst a group of people.

However, the post and the poster seemed to have sort of gotten it off track.

But seriously, I'm glad I could help.
theryk
Apr. 23rd, 2008 11:12 am (UTC)
In Boulder, Co (back in the Mesozoic days of the 1980's) here were herds of guys who would use "I'm a Feminist Male!" as a way of convincing women that they "weren't like other boys", so when they asked women to suck their dicks, it wasn't sexist lout behavior. Oh no! it was proof of how they were liberated. Similar to how the word "celibate" was used to lure partners close enough:

"It's ok, we can cuddle! Don't worry- I'm Celibate!"

If the woman was trusting enough to do this, once in bed, the man could "admit honest feelings" to wit- "If I were to interupt my cherished celibacy...it...it would be you, baby!"

Sigh. I think countering breasts requests with the caveat of shoving the 6" dildo up the asker's ass is genius. Then we'd see exactly how many of these guys are really "committed to the Sexual Revolution".
ojouchan
Apr. 23rd, 2008 09:02 pm (UTC)
... I think you may have summed up 90% of the men I knew in college. This of course was not in the 80's, but the fashion would say otherwise.

Oh Hippie mullet thou shalt never die.

You sir, are full of win.







(no subject) - theryk - Apr. 23rd, 2008 09:42 pm (UTC) - Expand
jeff_morris
Apr. 23rd, 2008 12:18 pm (UTC)
Someone on Journalfen linked to your post, and I'm glad I dropped by. I just wish there was some way you could sit down and talk to my daughter, who is 16, loves to cosplay and attend cons...and who is very amply endowed herself.

It's one of those things that needs to be discussed so that she knows what might happen and what to do about it, but I'm not sure she'd listen to my wife and me because, well you know, we're parents and utter idiots. :)
ojouchan
Apr. 23rd, 2008 09:16 pm (UTC)
Parents are filled with awesome. Especially parents who obviously care as much as you do.

My mom was a youth counselor, and when I got to college I became a defacto counselor there, and honestly it is one of the things I am most proud of. I really do understand what it can be like at 16 huddling in the locker room. I was already a DD then, and I spent a lot of time being self conscious and then realizing that I didn't have to be.

One of the best lessons I learned from that is that I shouldn't be ashamed. I have every right to be the sole owner of my body. And idiots have every right to be beaten withing an inch of their lives if they touch me in any way I deem unfit. :)

magpiggles
Apr. 23rd, 2008 01:20 pm (UTC)
Another person linked from Journalfen.
Fantastic post.
ojouchan
Apr. 23rd, 2008 09:16 pm (UTC)
Thank you, and welcome!

Also...

*iconlove*
lenadances
Apr. 23rd, 2008 02:22 pm (UTC)
Linked through... oy, I forget, it was way upon way and I got lost. But I ended up here, so it was worth it!

Thank you so much for this, and particularly for having it unlocked so that others might see it. As I've said elsewhere today, the sheer amount of feminist awesomeness on display in response to this asshat is starting to outweigh the awfulness that the asshat in question started in the first place. Thank you, thank you.
ojouchan
Apr. 23rd, 2008 09:19 pm (UTC)
Oy, no problem!

I'm glad you enjoyed it.

I also get a little bouncy when the internet rises for a collective smack down.
shipbuilding
Apr. 23rd, 2008 02:55 pm (UTC)
Linked by fengi. Thank you for this post.
ojouchan
Apr. 23rd, 2008 09:20 pm (UTC)
No problem glad you enjoyed it!

Also...

So much icon love.
(no subject) - shipbuilding - Apr. 24th, 2008 01:56 pm (UTC) - Expand
marieoroumania
Apr. 23rd, 2008 03:51 pm (UTC)
Yeah, (hi, I found you via fengi) I mentioned this yesterday, somewhere. The thing that really bothere me about that post was the idea that the men deserved it. Stretch that mode of thinking a little further and you have rapist mentality, and that makes me really angry.

Very well written stuff, very thoughtful, and I like seeing a woman's perspective. Thank you.

Also hello, fellow Angelena.
ojouchan
Apr. 23rd, 2008 09:31 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much!

I didn't even get to really touch on the idea of the rapist's mentality. It seemed a bit harsh. Though honestly the thought that the costumed woman wanted or deserved it is such a big part of that mentality that honestly I'm not sure how he escaped it. *sigh*

On the upside you add to more of the awesomeness of LA.
(no subject) - marieoroumania - Apr. 23rd, 2008 10:02 pm (UTC) - Expand
shadrad
Apr. 23rd, 2008 03:55 pm (UTC)
You, madam, made this entire debacle slightly more palatable with your expertly-distributed sense of taste.

Side note, I added you to my FL because your other entries demonstrate similarly well-written and composed posts and I'd like to keep reading. No expectations or obligations for you to add me back (my journal is just full of art, stupid, and rants)
ojouchan
Apr. 23rd, 2008 09:32 pm (UTC)
Why thank you very much love!

Also, I wholeheartedly believe in art, stupid and rants. I like to do them all at the same time. :)
rubynye
Apr. 23rd, 2008 04:50 pm (UTC)
The one silver lining of this is reading the absolutely awesome responses, and yours is at the head of the class. *applauds you*
ojouchan
Apr. 23rd, 2008 09:34 pm (UTC)
First and foremost, I am in love with your icon. Seriously.

Secondly, thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed my rant.
medie
Apr. 23rd, 2008 05:26 pm (UTC)
I gotta say, reading your fiance's comments? If you weren't marrying him, I would. Just. *APPLAUSE* SO MUCH. (and having read some of theferett's posts? I ever go to a con where he is, me and my DDs are packing a can of mace.)
ojouchan
Apr. 23rd, 2008 09:42 pm (UTC)
Hey, my grandmother used to carry a jeweled icepick between her breasts. So hey, mace is all well and good. :)
roadriverrail
Apr. 23rd, 2008 07:02 pm (UTC)
Just dropping by via the_xtina to file an amicus comment from the contingent of people who still believe that "polite company", which is anyone who isn't your dear friend, is supposed to keep things at a polite handshaking distance.
(Deleted comment)
ojouchan
Apr. 23rd, 2008 10:05 pm (UTC)
I agree with stabby and angry as long as things change.

Also.

I really miss you. That's just a sidenote.
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